Ages and Stages

 "Each day of our lives we make deposits in the memory banks of our children." - Charles R. Swindoll

Today Dwight and I had the joy and privilege to co-lead a 'Practical Parenting Workshop' (ages Birth - age 5). We were the parents who have passed with (or without) flying colors through these 'ages and stages'.  Our faithful co-leaders were the parents who are still in the 'trenches'. 

It was an interesting experience to be the older parents. Is that what we are now? :) Have we come to this stage in life? As we talked about newborns, toddlers and preschoolers, I was momentarily stopped in my head! We no longer have babies, or toddlers. For that matter, we no longer have jr. highers!! Time has a way of whizzing by in a family. Babies grow up to be toddlers. Toddlers grow up to be preschoolers. Preschoolers grow up to be grade schoolers. Grade schoolers become middle schoolers. Middle schoolers become high schoolers. High schoolers become college kids. College kids become all out adults who are totally indpendent of us as parents! Phew...I am tired just looking back at where we have come from. Golly, this week one of my 'babies' asked a girl to the High School Christmas Banquet! Where did it go? 

One of the concepts we started with today was how as parents we are 'raising adults'. The ultimate goal is to be able to release our children (our adults) as confident, respectful, teachable, strong, God honoring people into the world. We start this process the moment we bring that bundle home from the hospital. At that moment of birth, it is unimaginable to even think of letting them go. But God has commissioned us to the task! 

I remember being in the 'trenches' of parenting/mothering 5 children under 7 and wondering what in the world was I doing? Did God really think I was able to do this? I know I asked that questions many times. His answer was "Yes, you can do this. I have equipped you to do this for my Glory and for my purposes. Trust me." 

 "I can do all things through him who strengthens me." - Phil 4:13

The Lord knows and has it all worked out even when we feel so inadequate. He just desires us to be obedient in the raising of our children and instruction as unto Him. 

"Whatever you do, work heartily, as for the Lord and not for men,"- Col. 3:23

As I look back to those early days, I know it is only by the grace of God we have stable, secure, obedient, loving teenagers and adult children. Do not get me wrong! They are still sinners. I am a sinner, we are all sinners. However, God saw it in His goodness and grace to enlighten us with His truth as we began the 'raising' part of this Polivka tribe. Plus, He brought some pretty amazing parents into our lives, who had traveled the path a bit further down the road, to be our examples and sounding boards. We were also blessed with a heritage of Godly council. He was, and is, a good God who gives us all good things!

This is meant to encourage. God desires our best in every area. He desires for our lives to shine for His glory. Our children will be shining testaments of God's grace and love for His glory but also for our own legacy. We have a responsibility to do good!

"So then, as we have opportunity, let us do good to everyone, and especially to those who are of the household of faith." - Gal. 6:10

As we talked to the parents in the 'trenches' today, I quickly remembered how weary the task becomes. The daily grind of being consistent. The daily chore of discipline. The daily feeling of exhaustion. The daily joys of the little people. The 'season' of raising little people to be big people seems ever so long. And yet, God is there in those daily moments. He was there for me in the 'season' of sleepless nights and weary days. He was there to grant me, as a mother, new life, first smiles, first steps, chuckles, baby smells, milk drunk stoopers, first words (usally Dada) and every other incredible gift of complete perfection in a little created human. God gives us joy in the middle of the hard work and weary days! 
 
"Blessed is the man who remains steadfast under trial, for when he has stood the test he will receive the crown of life, which God has promised to those who love him."- James 1:12

Then one day, we begin the releasing process and eventually let go. Sounds so painful. It is painful. But with pain comes growth. As a Mom I am now (in my head more than reality) letting go of a couple of kids for God to do what He started. To do what was always His work from the beginning. This means having, at times, a 'hands off' approach. This means I know as I release some of this control, the child may fail. However, it is OK for them to fail. God has not left the scene. He will do His work, in His time. I am learning, with humility, how hard this is to do. I can say it, but doing is another thing. God is still on His throne. If I let go of my child to make choices, decisions and walk his or her path without me...God will accomplish His work in His time. This has been a hard lesson for me to learn. By God's grace, I am getting it. Praise God! I have three more to 'let-go'!! What is my biggest help? Prayer! When I let go and let God, I never stop praying for my child(ren). This has kept me more dependent on my LORD than ever before. Hard, but a good kind of hard. They are His gifts, His reward. Our children were never mine to cling too ever so tightly.

"Behold, children are a heritage from the LORD, the fruit of the womb a reward." - Psalm 127:3 

 

"I would not send a poor girl into the world, ignorant of the snares that beset her path; nor would I watch and guard her, till, deprived of self-respect and self-reliance, she lost the power or the will to watch and guard herself ." - Anne Bronte