Ages and Stages

 "Each day of our lives we make deposits in the memory banks of our children." - Charles R. Swindoll

Today Dwight and I had the joy and privilege to co-lead a 'Practical Parenting Workshop' (ages Birth - age 5). We were the parents who have passed with (or without) flying colors through these 'ages and stages'.  Our faithful co-leaders were the parents who are still in the 'trenches'. 

It was an interesting experience to be the older parents. Is that what we are now? :) Have we come to this stage in life? As we talked about newborns, toddlers and preschoolers, I was momentarily stopped in my head! We no longer have babies, or toddlers. For that matter, we no longer have jr. highers!! Time has a way of whizzing by in a family. Babies grow up to be toddlers. Toddlers grow up to be preschoolers. Preschoolers grow up to be grade schoolers. Grade schoolers become middle schoolers. Middle schoolers become high schoolers. High schoolers become college kids. College kids become all out adults who are totally indpendent of us as parents! Phew...I am tired just looking back at where we have come from. Golly, this week one of my 'babies' asked a girl to the High School Christmas Banquet! Where did it go? 

One of the concepts we started with today was how as parents we are 'raising adults'. The ultimate goal is to be able to release our children (our adults) as confident, respectful, teachable, strong, God honoring people into the world. We start this process the moment we bring that bundle home from the hospital. At that moment of birth, it is unimaginable to even think of letting them go. But God has commissioned us to the task! 

I remember being in the 'trenches' of parenting/mothering 5 children under 7 and wondering what in the world was I doing? Did God really think I was able to do this? I know I asked that questions many times. His answer was "Yes, you can do this. I have equipped you to do this for my Glory and for my purposes. Trust me." 

 "I can do all things through him who strengthens me." - Phil 4:13

The Lord knows and has it all worked out even when we feel so inadequate. He just desires us to be obedient in the raising of our children and instruction as unto Him. 

"Whatever you do, work heartily, as for the Lord and not for men,"- Col. 3:23

As I look back to those early days, I know it is only by the grace of God we have stable, secure, obedient, loving teenagers and adult children. Do not get me wrong! They are still sinners. I am a sinner, we are all sinners. However, God saw it in His goodness and grace to enlighten us with His truth as we began the 'raising' part of this Polivka tribe. Plus, He brought some pretty amazing parents into our lives, who had traveled the path a bit further down the road, to be our examples and sounding boards. We were also blessed with a heritage of Godly council. He was, and is, a good God who gives us all good things!

This is meant to encourage. God desires our best in every area. He desires for our lives to shine for His glory. Our children will be shining testaments of God's grace and love for His glory but also for our own legacy. We have a responsibility to do good!

"So then, as we have opportunity, let us do good to everyone, and especially to those who are of the household of faith." - Gal. 6:10

As we talked to the parents in the 'trenches' today, I quickly remembered how weary the task becomes. The daily grind of being consistent. The daily chore of discipline. The daily feeling of exhaustion. The daily joys of the little people. The 'season' of raising little people to be big people seems ever so long. And yet, God is there in those daily moments. He was there for me in the 'season' of sleepless nights and weary days. He was there to grant me, as a mother, new life, first smiles, first steps, chuckles, baby smells, milk drunk stoopers, first words (usally Dada) and every other incredible gift of complete perfection in a little created human. God gives us joy in the middle of the hard work and weary days! 
 
"Blessed is the man who remains steadfast under trial, for when he has stood the test he will receive the crown of life, which God has promised to those who love him."- James 1:12

Then one day, we begin the releasing process and eventually let go. Sounds so painful. It is painful. But with pain comes growth. As a Mom I am now (in my head more than reality) letting go of a couple of kids for God to do what He started. To do what was always His work from the beginning. This means having, at times, a 'hands off' approach. This means I know as I release some of this control, the child may fail. However, it is OK for them to fail. God has not left the scene. He will do His work, in His time. I am learning, with humility, how hard this is to do. I can say it, but doing is another thing. God is still on His throne. If I let go of my child to make choices, decisions and walk his or her path without me...God will accomplish His work in His time. This has been a hard lesson for me to learn. By God's grace, I am getting it. Praise God! I have three more to 'let-go'!! What is my biggest help? Prayer! When I let go and let God, I never stop praying for my child(ren). This has kept me more dependent on my LORD than ever before. Hard, but a good kind of hard. They are His gifts, His reward. Our children were never mine to cling too ever so tightly.

"Behold, children are a heritage from the LORD, the fruit of the womb a reward." - Psalm 127:3 

 

"I would not send a poor girl into the world, ignorant of the snares that beset her path; nor would I watch and guard her, till, deprived of self-respect and self-reliance, she lost the power or the will to watch and guard herself ." - Anne Bronte

Sovereignty and Sacrifice

I could not just "blog" for the sake of blogging. There is always something to say. However, is it always worth saying? :)

Recently I have been thinking a lot about 'sacrifice' and 'sovereignty'. Two big "S" words. To me, these words go hand-in-hand. Think about 'sovereignty' for a minute. Sovereignty is a big word that is kinda 'churchy' or 'christianese'. The definition of sovereignty is supreme and independent power or authority in government. For all intensive purposes, I am going to equate 'government' to the Kingdom of God. This sovereignty is over the Kingdom of God. This is you and I...those who profess a belief in Jesus Christ.  We are the Kingdom of God! 

Mark 1:14, 15 reads, "Now after John was arrested, Jesus came into Galilee, proclaiming the gospel of God, and saying, 'The time is fulfilled, and the kingdom of God is at hand; repent and believe in the gospel." 

We, who have repented and believed, ARE the Kingdom of God. God is our supreme and independent power or authority over us! Read Psalm 139 sometime and get a full, more clear picture of how intimately He is involved in our lives. But for now, how does this 'sovereignty' play out in our everyday lives?

About 3 1/2 years ago, God did a crazy, life changing thing in our lives, meaning my family's life. Scary! He purposefully uprooted our family from all we knew, loved and were comfortable with...and transplanted us in a place 2100+ miles away...almost another country! (Everyone should do a major life change every 20 or so years.) Why did God do this? I believe for redemption, to do a work in our lives and in the lives of others. Now this was not an overnight thing and not without gut-wrenching pain and struggle. It was a work of the Spirit who prompted, led and directed our steps to this place we now call home. God is SOVEREIGN and had a plan and purpose we did not know and may not truly know until we are in glory. Dwight and I heard the Spirit's call and we listened. We followed the call knowing the cost would be great and the amount of loss would be heavy and even hurtful. 

This brings me to 'sacrifice'. Another word often heard in the Christian circle. Sacrifice is defined as the surrender or destruction of something prized or desirable for the sake of something considered as having a higher or more pressing claim. When we choose to follow Jesus (or when He chooses us), we immediately learn about sacrifice. We know He is asking us to 'surrender' the prized, most desirable things, objects of affection or stuff which take greater importance than serving and loving God. He will ask us to give up much for Him! 

Our family left an extended family unit which bordered on 'utopia'. We are blessed with amazing parents, siblings, grandparents, aunts, uncles and cousins. For over 20 years we had these wonderful people within 20 minutes away. We shared birthdays, holidays, kid's events, heartbreaks/sorrows and experienced everyday life together. Our kids experienced a special, and uncommon gift...grandparents involved in everyday life AND cousins as 'best friends'. 

This is where the "Sovereignty and Sacrifice" overlap. God knew before the beginning of time we would make this sacrifice for His call. 

Jeremiah 29:11 states, "For I know the plans I have for you, declares the LORD, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope." 

Our trust in His sovereignty would bless our sacrifice. God has been faithful to bless this sacrifice and we see the fruit of His sovereign call upon us.  God has blessed us with a 'family of God', not to replace our family but to extend His family and His Kingdom. Sovereignty and Sacrifice go together. God, through His perfect plan, which unfolds in His time, will ask us to sacrifice for Him. He will call us to give up or painfully give up, for the sake of the Kingdom of God. 

Why am I writing this now? Well, for the last 38 days, my wonderful Mother has been very ill and in the hospital. For 38 days I have missed her, prayed for her, watched my sister and other family members care for her. I have longed to be close to her. Today, I was able to see my wonderful Mother, in the hospital, 2100+ miles away from my family and church family. Today we cried at the reunion which took place. This has been a sacrifice to be so far away, not to help or serve her. And yet, in God's sovereign, infinite timing, grace and goodness, He has allowed me to sit with her, love her and minister to her...even for a few days. To Him be the glory!!

Why Blog? Why am I now a 'blogger'?

This is a funny question. I wanted to blog years ago. But somehow life with FIVE little children and 14 years of homeschooling, life kept me from following through on blogging. And really, as I have gone through life (Lord willing, there is a lot more life ahead of me) my original musings, passions, and judgements are very different than those of my earlier years. I very well may offend someone with my 'blogging' now but I feel I most definitely would have offended way back when. God has been so good to change my personal views and even world view. He is gracious to do that as we hit our own road blocks, get our own bumps and bruises.

So still, why now? Hmmm...I seem to have much on my mind these days and feel more settled in being 'me' aside from wife, mom, pastor's wife, sister and friend. Not that those parts of me are not true or good or worthy, just at a stage of seeing 'myself' for who I have become...and possibly because of those other titles I am now who I am. Sounds a bit deep. Or corny...not sure which one applies. Maybe each reader will make those determinations. Whatever the case I am kinda excited about this venture.

Even though I wanted to do this, I was not sure I wanted "me" being put out there. It is not about me. So many blogs are. This will be about thoughts, passions, musings and fun which pertain to me. Also, there is a fine line of sharing stuff publicly and especially with my husband being a local pastor. I even asked a fellow blogger friend if there was any way to be anonymous and be a blogger. She did not think so. I am trusting God's Spirit to lead me to post stuff which is God honoring and sensitive to others. 

In this blog I may write about controversial topics. I may write about things I am dealing with on a personal level. I may post a really good recipe or a nutritional topic/tidbit (I am kinda passionate about nutrition, etc.) I may share a verse which really spoke to me. I may ask a question I do not seem to have the answer. I may give my opinion about something the reader doesn't really want to hear. :) I may post photos of some pretty scenery 'cause I love God's creation and Oregon has so much to offer. I may share ways I have messed up in my mothering skills (will not discredit or tear down my kids tho!) and how God redeemed my mess-ups for His good! I may share a bit of my life with my man and how we have traveled this life thus far 25 years into the journey.

I may offend some. Or my readers my disagree with me. However, I hope to share my heart for the Lord and my trust and sovereign faith in Him. He alone is the reason for where I am and who I am. To Him be the Glory.

About my blog name -  Charlsey Jeanne's Reflections - These are my grandmother's names.  

"Charlsey" was my maternal grandmother. She died when I was 12. I have very fond memories of her. She most definitely loved me. My favorite memories of Charlsey include drinking ice tea and playing canasta with her on summer afternoons. She also loved African Violets and husky dogs.

"Jeanne" was my paternal grandmother. She died when I was 20. She was a spirited, feisty woman who loved her family with a passion. One claim to fame I have with Jeanne would be skinny dipping with her in a Texas lake and washing our hair together when I spent a week with her and Grandpa at the lake when I was about 12. My older daughter carries her name. :)

I am honored to have both of these women in my heritage. And honored to have parts of them inside me and honored to pass on parts of each of them to my own children. It seemed fitting to use their names for this new quest.

Well, there you have it! Stay tuned to see how this goes... :)

The beginning

For quite some time I have considered blogging. But really didn't want to be like "everyone else". And yet, here I am. I find I want to put my thoughts, passions, musings and reflections in print. Not sure why. So here goes! I am not sure what will happen next or what will come of this, but I am ready to give it a go. I am just a middle aged woman who has walked through some tough life with lots of joy rained down on me. "Stuff:" will follow... Hope you will too!