Perfection is reserved for our eternal home.

"Humility is perfect quietness of heart, It is to expect nothing, to wonder at nothing that is done to me, to feel nothing done against me. It is to be at rest when nobody praises me, and when I am blamed or despised. It is to have a blessed home in the Lord, where I can go in and shut the door, and kneel to my Father in secret, and am at peace as in a deep sea of calmness, when all around and above is trouble"

- Andrew Murray

Feeling as if I am getting some good kicks to humble myself and then more kicks while I am down. Funny thing about feeling low. How does one handle the lessons of humility? With humility? :-/ 

The quote above by Murray is a 'kick' to myself and my pride. I struggle to 'feel nothing done to me' or to 'be at rest when nobody praises me, and [feel nothing] when I am blamed or despised.'  I have had times when I have been really low, as in humbled. And then there have been times when I have been blinded by my own self-control and pride to see the lesson in front of me.

Recently I feel God is doing another major refinement in my heart, soul, and life. He is using several situations to reveal my heart, my motives, my thoughts and ultimately my sin. It stings! "Lord, why must we feel we have come to a good place only to be knocked down and see our selves for who we really are?"  "Lord, why is perfection reserved for our eternal home?" 

I know all the answers to the questions I ask. And scripture provides the answers to the questions I ask. But are these not questions we ask when we have been knocked down/humbled over and over? Am I the only one? 

"When pride comes, then comes dishonor, but with the humble comes wisdom."  

 Prov. 11:2  

"But He gives a greater grace. Therefore it says, 'God is opposed to the proud, but gives grace to the humble.' Submit therefore to God. Resist the devil and he will flee from you." James 4:6-7

"Humble yourselves, therefore, under the mighty hand of God, that He may exalt you at the proper time, casting all your anxiety upon Him, because He cares for you."  

1 Pet. 5:6-7  

God's Word is clear about pride and humility. The James passage follows up the pride verse with a 'submit therefore to God' and a 'resist the devil'. Funny how our submitting to God brings us to a place of humility and how the devil is involved in our pride. Self-control or being in control sneaks up on me (us). I sometimes do not even see it coming. It is kinda like a self sufficiency thing for me. Ultimately, Satan tells me I have it all under my own control and I do not need anyone, especially God. I do not really hear those words or even say them, but my life will 'live this out' and then the pride sets in. The 1 Peter passage tells me to 'humble' myself 'under the mighty hand of God' and He will 'exalt' me at the proper time. This tells me God's mighty hand (the stuff that kicks me down to the place of humility) is purposeful and planned. Sigh... 

Those of us who are strong and secure in who we are could be weak and insecure sometimes, but we do a good job of controlling the outward look. Where is the balance? Can we be strong but weak? I am working through this balance. God is taking me through this time of refinement to humble me, yes, absolutely! However, I am searching for the balance of being 'who' God made me in my temperament and character AND living humbly with honesty, realness and vulnerability. Wondering about the balance of His creation in ME and showing HIM to those around me? I am not outwardly weak. However this comes across to others as needing no one and even prideful or not allowing God to meet me where he is needed. Ouch!

Praying I can learn and grow from the humbling 'kicks'.  

Trusting in a God who is in control. 

Looking for the balance. 

Praying for His perfect balance for me and knowing all the more...

'Perfection is reserved for our eternal home.' Come Lord Jesus, come!  

"If you believe in a God who controls the big things, you have to believe in a God who controls the little things.  It is we, of course, to whom things look "little" or "big."
Elisabeth Elliot